Not Under the Influence

This is a friendly reminder that I can’t read your mind
And that’s better said alive than from the other side
I don’t know how many folks I’ve made laugh or cry
And I don’t know who you are or how you feel inside

It would’ve been a shame if I didn’t have courage to write
If I remained too shy to express myself or open my mind
But to be candid, I’ve had a strange feeling for quite a while
‘Cause it’s been ominously quiet on my social media profile

I shouldn’t measure my worth by the amount of likes
Or views or comments or followers or the online hype
My notes are underwhelming and it's got me wondering
What’s the point of it ‘cause the illusion’s lost meaning

Am I actually censored or am I shadow banned?
A first world problem, but what’s up with that?
Maybe no one cares and I’m overthinking it ‘cause I’m
Not like the popular girls who have too much influence

If I never said anything and something bad happened to me
They all would’ve had too much fun rewriting my own story
So sad this girl didn’t know she was loved before she died
Too bad no one actually talked to her to ever explain why

I jumped right to the end where they all talk about my life
But still don’t care ‘cause it’d be written off as a suicide
I don’t even want to think like that but whatever happens
Life is short and they’ll make it about my vaccine status

But not being popular isn’t a reason to hurt yourself
Although I admit, it could wreck your mental health
I don’t write for attention or social media incentives
Even if you are real they won’t get what the point is

The status quo doesn’t have to be the status quo
I can free myself when I choose to be myself
So I won’t let them influence how I ought to be
Because I am enough and I just want to be me
@sabaitide