SABAITIDE
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Conquering Anxiety

1/1/2022

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Sometimes I feel alone on
Things I can't do on my own
Surely it can be done so I 
Really trust God on this one

When my motivation's thin
And when my courage is low
God gives grace, He gives me hope
When I feel lost, I am found at last
​
God'll meet me where I'm at and cast
Away the trance of this inner and outer
Wavelength that's been pulling on me
And that's how I conquer my anxiety
@sabaitide
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I am No One

11/1/2021

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Sometimes I feel awkward
And no one cares how I feel
No one cares if I’m awkward
And that’s how I feel

Sometimes I feel inadequate
And no one cares how I feel
No one cares if I’m inadequate
And that’s how I feel

Sometimes I feel insignificant
And no one cares how I feel
No one cares if I’m insignificant
And that’s how I feel

Sometimes I care how no one feels
Sometimes no one feels that I care

Sometimes I feel that no one cares
Sometimes no one cares that I feel
@sabaitide
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Save it for Therapy

11/1/2021

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With all positive affirmations put aside
I think there’s something weird with me
I should bottle my weirdness up inside
And just save all this weird for therapy

Maybe I shouldn’t express myself
‘Cause now you all know I’m weird
Weirder than how weird I thought I was
Now on the spectrum I’m way too weird
​
I’m so sorry if you have been affected
By the weirdness of my mental health
This is the most weird that I’ve ever been
And should probably keep this to myself
@sabaitide
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Not Under the Influence

10/1/2021

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This is a friendly reminder that I can’t read your mind
And that’s better said alive than from the other side
I don’t know how many folks I’ve made laugh or cry
And I don’t know who you are or how you feel inside


It would’ve been a shame if I didn’t have courage to write
If I remained too shy to express myself or open my mind
But to be candid, I’ve had a strange feeling for quite a while
‘Cause it’s been ominously quiet on my social media profile

I shouldn’t measure my worth by the amount of likes
Or views or comments or followers or the online hype
My notes are underwhelming and it's got me wondering
What’s the point of it ‘cause the illusion’s lost meaning

Am I actually censored or am I shadow banned?
A first world problem, but what’s up with that?
Maybe no one cares and I’m overthinking it ‘cause I’m
Not like the popular girls who have too much influence

If I never said anything and something bad happened to me

They all would’ve had too much fun rewriting my own story
So sad this girl didn’t know she was loved before she died
Too bad no one actually talked to her to ever explain why

I jumped right to the end where they all talk about my life
But still don’t care ‘cause it’d be written off as a suicide
I don’t even want to think like that but whatever happens
Life is short and they’ll make it about my vaccine status

But not being popular isn’t a reason to hurt yourself
Although I admit, it could wreck your mental health
I don’t write for attention or social media incentives
Even if you are real they won’t get what the point is

The status quo doesn’t have to be the status quo
I can free myself when I choose to be myself
So I won’t let them influence how I ought to be
Because I am enough and I just want to be me
@sabaitide
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Message in a Bottle

9/1/2021

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Sound of waves crashing
But I’m crash landed 
Stranded on an island
Gonna make it my land
Taking back my mind and
Gonna rewrite it ‘cause I
Lost a few years when
Expression was my fear
Now it kinda feels weird
To say how I used to feel
In words that I can hear
So that I can finally heal
From the pain I concealed
And forgot about until
I appeared way over here
On an island by myself

Nothing went as planned
Over back on main land
Lost it all and got it back
Not the same life that I had
But I started over again
No specific goal or plan
I lost hope in what I can
Achieve or accomplish
When I ended right back
Where all of this began
Living with my parents
Who can’t even pretend
To be a little interested in
My life unless it’s to tell
Me to get a job with insurance
Then back to silent treatment

Imagine how hard it was
To really express yourself
Feeling stuck like this
And can’t even admit
The hurt from the years
And can't pinpoint it yet
Without words to say it
‘Cause if you bring it up
You’ll just get shut down
And if you deal with it
Now it’s all your fault
That’s how I felt for years
Emotionally impaired
How can I write or paint
Or really grow in any way
While maintaining face

I was done feeling like this
Hiding my emotions and
Going through the motions
I’m meant to do something
much more than this
Stuck here wanting to
 be 
Part of your world, I guess
So one day 
I just left and
I took a little swim

Drifting on a whim
Through my hopes and fears
And emotions from the years
Bottled up to find here
Like hey, remember this?
Oh, how could I forget?
Well actually, I did for a bit

SOS please send help
@sabaitide
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Mind Surfing

7/1/2021

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Chorus
I’m on another wavelength
Tides are always turning
Get into the flowing, yeah
‘Cause I’m mind surfing
My mind is surfing, yeah


Verse
I’m in the deep end
‘Cause my mind keeps drifting
Away from all these alpha waves
I’d rather be dreaming
R-E-M thinking but
I’m on a different wavelength

A hallucination
Don’t know what I’m seeing
Or am I always this strange?
Maybe my day dream
Isn’t the real thing 
But I think I’m awake

Chorus
I’m on another wavelength
Tides are always turning
Get into the flowing, yeah
‘Cause I’m mind surfing
My mind is surfing, yeah


Verse
Towards the horizon
Is where I am going but
I already fell off the edge
Don’t know if I’m falling
‘Cause this sure ain’t flying
But this is all in my head

Is it my time yet?
A recurring thought yet
It’s a little melodramatic
I’ve got my low tides
About to get high tide
Surfing the waves in my mind
@sabaitide
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Laying Low

7/1/2021

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I’m laying low, aiming high
Burning slow, and getting by
Let it go, again I’ll try
I don’t know, enjoy the ride

When did I become so shy
To hide the special way I shine
I guess it kinda hurt inside
To not fit in and not know why

But I can’t change the way I am
To peer pressure for acceptance
My center has gotta be within
Not out there for my happiness
@sabaitide
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Freak Show

7/1/2021

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I feel so alone but
I feel so watched
And that’s unfair 
‘Cause when I’m gone
They’ll all say things 
About me that they
Could have told me
When I was here
Feeling so alone
On my freak show
@sabaitide
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No Matter

6/1/2021

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It don’t matter
What I think
Or say or do
What I like
Or share or don’t
I could post it
But I won’t

It don’t matter
What I see
Or I believe 
What I read 
Or I perceive
If I can’t take it
I can leave

Well it don’t matter
I don’t matter
It don’t matter
Anyway
No matter what 
I do or don’t
The world won’t
Ever change

I’m overwhelmed 
If you could tell me
Exactly what to say
To they, to WHO
And maybe you
That only you
Can change and 
That’s what matters

Yeah you matter
In a world
So big and small
And all at once
‘Cause you baby
Are like the world
Wondering
What it was

And just because 
You missed the cut
Don’t mean you’re
Not enough
No matter what
You matter and
We’ll figure
This one out

It don’t matter
How much money 
Or how many 
That you have
What matters is 
That you keep trying
To do the best 
You can

Beyond all our 
Attention spans
Just wonder
What it matters
And what matters
Is what’s happening
And what will happen 
Shortly after

While the stars
Are all out up there
Is something more
Grand than there is
And no matter 
How it happens
You can make 
The most of it

While the world turns
Only time will tell
The universe that
We all feel
As it unfolds
Just break the mold
From what you thought
That you’d once known

‘Cause the grand 
Unfolding of the 
Universe 
Will be told in 
Social media posts

And the story told
In hashtag mode
And other kinds
Of digi codes
Might not show
What matters though
Of what’s above
And so below

Don’t worry much
About it though
Even if you feel
You don’t
You matter and

You’re not alone
@sabaitide
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Lifted

6/1/2021

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I’m lifted, gifted
Never gonna miss this
Chance is tactics
Playing without practice
Questions, answers (“ances”)
Is Pluto a planet?
That’s just nonsense
Or it’s what your mom says
Now I’m still with it
Checking off my wish list
And I’m still lifted
Axis slightly tilted
Listen, learn it
Not what you thought
It was and it has
Taken off, lifted
@sabaitide
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